Madonna - Hard Candy (3/5)

Since there's a new Madonna album just around the corner (and a Madonna Super Bowl Half Time Show only hours away), I thought maybe I'd revisit her last album, "Hard Candy," partly because I haven't heard the whole thing in over 3 years, shortly after I wrote the review below, and partly because I'm looking to migrate some of my various ramblings from all over the Internet in the past to to this blog.  I listened to it again last night, just to see where we're starting from with this new release, and then I remembered that I had reviewed it here.

Nothing has really changed from what follows, except that I probably like it even less than I did 3 and a half years ago.   And some sort of temporary insanity caused me to rate it 4 stars.  I'm scaling that back to 3.  At the most.  I'm being very generous. She was definitely phoning it in for the last full-length album of her career-long tenure at Warner Bros.  It's as garish and uninspired as its cover.

Everything I wrote after the track-by-track review still holds true. Even moreso, when considering songs like "Celebration," "Revolver," and "Masterpiece" that have been released since this album.

*****The following review is obsolete. When I posted it, I'd just listened to it for the first time. Since then, I've grown to love it. Everything in the review is still true except for the fact that I happen to love the album anyway.******

Candy Shop - I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think this song has grown on me. I still don't like it, but I guess in the context of the album, it's *okay*. It probably couldn't work as anything but an album opener. It's not a very good one, but it works in no other context.

4 Minutes - This is another one that I still don't like very much, but it works in the context of the album, and kicks the album proper off. After hearing that almost none of the lyrics on this album have any depth or meaning beyond strings of cliches and non-sequitirs, this is actually okay. The track is pretty good, admittedly. And like this album's opener, this song could work really in no other context than as the lead single. Take the one shot at the big hit with something so pandering and meaningless and get it out of the way before the better tracks are released to give the project legs.

Give It 2 Me - Why is Madonna suddenly using Princebonics? Anyway... this one is decent. It's not second single material, but I guess it's slightly less vapid than 4 Minutes. Would probably be served best as a club-only track later on in the life of the album, but I suppose it'll do as a second single, considering the options.

Heartbeat - Okay, this is more like it. I'm not gaga over this track, but it's definitely one of the stronger cuts with the most personality and a lot going for it.

Miles Away - Another good track, though I'm not gaga over this one either. They lyrics hit a little close to home. Or they do as of a year or two ago. The beats/production are a bit too crunchy, though. Sounds unfinished. And I don't agree with the people who say that Orbit should have produced this one. It would have just ended up sounding like Amazing or American Pie or whatever, but even more lightweight and we've already heard that from him several times.

She's Not Me - I generally like this track a lot, but it goes on and on for no reason. Nothing interesting happens in the second half that didn't happen in the first. And that bridge/break thing where everything goes muffled is straight out of Stuart Price's limited bag of tricks. We heard that on enough tracks last album. Oh, and is that really Wendy Melvoin that Pharrell calls out to start playing during the breakdown? If so.... cool. But why is she being wasted?

Incredible - You know? There's a real gem of a song in here. And the production is surprisingly upbeat and poppy. But it's just trying to be way too many things in the span of one (overlong) song. The lyrics hit me pretty hard, but fortunately they've got a lighter touch than I was expecting.

The Beat Goes On - I'm shocked that I like this, because I hated just about EVERYTHING about the demo. The choice to turn it into a disco-y number and clip some of the wordiness in the chorus has vastly improved it. It's probably just a little bit long and will be much better if there's a single edit.

Dance 2night - More Princebonics Anywho..... Yeah. I really, really like this one. It's understated and laid-back and has a serious groove you can sink your teeth into. This is the "Push" of the album for me. The one that you can just settle into a nice groove to.

Spanish Lesson - Oh my God, I actually kind of like this! It's so stupid. But it's fun.

The Devil Wouldn't Recognize You - I have a feeling that this was a great song that was sacrificed for a mediocre re-tread of a track.

Voices - It has potential. If I give it time and thought, this is probably one of the stronger, more interesting tracks. Right now it doesn't do all that much for me. Maybe that even the more "serious" tracks are pretty frivolous. Or maybe that on such a frivolous album, you really grab ahold of anything you think maybe you can sink your teeth into. I dunno.


So, all in all, it's not horrible. Not as bad as I was expecting based on the early tracks that leaked. In fact, it's pretty okay. It's definitely fun. It's a light, breezy, mindless dance pop record, and it'll be perfect for the summer. I kind of felt the same about Confessions... I liked it okay, but didn't think that much of it. But somehow it turned into one of my most-played Madonna albums of recent years based on the fact that it has a cohesiveness that fits a certain mood. I have a feeling the same will apply to this album. (Though there is nothing deeply pleasing as Hung Up, Get Together, Sorry, or Jump here.)

But there really isn't anything to this album. Or these songs. The more interesting thing about it is the observations that are sort of crystalizing around it for me.

Something has happened to Madonna's music, aside from the fact that she's now put out two all-dance albums in a row. Something has happened to her as a lyricist. She's just not trying. She used to write lyrics that even if I didn't usually connect to them beyond the pop aspect of them, they were at least pretty good. And universal. She seems to be mistaking "cliched" for "universal" lately. And there are just too many "yeahs" and "come ons" and "heys" and filler phrases like that anymore.

It's also clear that she needs to be collaborating with real songwriters again. Melody carried through beat (as on this album) just doesn't cut it for catchy, classic pop songs. And the memorable melodies from the last album were all nicked from other songs and samples.

Finally, her voice..... I don't know what's happened. Well, yes, I do. Since the Evita vocal training, she has slowly just become bland in her vocal stylings. No, she was never a great singer. But she was one of my absolute favorites because she really knew how to get an emotion across in her delivery. Open Your Heart? Express Yourself? Rescue Me? She was really digging deep. Full-body singing, I like to call it. No, she wasn't singing correctly. So what? She made me feel something when she sang though. Or at least I felt like SHE was feeling it when she sang. Something happened after Evita. She sounded great on that. And especially when that training was applied to the Ray Of Light album. But ever since then, it seems that the farther she gets away from it, the less feeling there is in her voice. You don't get that assault on your senses that she used to deliver in a 4 minute ballad or dance tune. It's obvious after Confessions, and especially Hard Candy, that she just doesn't put that much effort into singing anymore. And they say that it should be somewhat effortless, or at least not too physically taxing, when it's done right. But you know... she doesn't have one of those voices. All of the appeal of Madonna's singing has been in how she sells it to you. And I don't mean just in the video and other promotion. I mean in the way she sells it to you with her singing of it. I just feel like that's lacking now. It's a really glaring problem on this album especially. It's all just kind of light "singing-voice" vocal delivery, instead of the gutteral, snarky, breathy, ballsy belting that she used to do.

I really miss that Madonna.